The first of many...maybe

So hi there,

This is my first blog, i have been reading a few and thought its time to start my own online one.
Want to know a little about me?
Well, just call me horsey girl for now.

• I'm 20 (but feel a lot older than that already)
• I am an equine student and training to be an instructor/centre manager
• At the moment, i train and volunteer/work at a charity which gives disabled and other mentalist like myself, riding lessons.
• my main job is to re school the horses that have turned nuts from having people do what ever they like on them and just being a skivvy.
• I live in a student house with some interesting people to say the least.
• I am very well known to the local mental health team and emergency services.

I have had a pretty screwed up upbringing and since the age of 12 i have been in numerous adolescent units and hospitals and what not.

My 'diagnosis' (im not a fan of them) PTSD, Bulimia and OCD...selfharm and depression plays into them.

I have managed to keep myself out of hospital since the summer now, this year has been one of the most awful years of my life. My grandfather committed suicide in june and my nan passed away from cancer in july, i was forced to sell my wonderful horse and i fell out with everyone at my yard. So, i went a little bonkers, didnt go and see my therapist as i find her useless anyway, locked myself in my room and decided to see how close to death i could become. Living off of diet coke, cigarettes and seeing how many OTC painkillers you could swallow is one way to land yourself in A&E.

I do admire my friends though, they did everything they could for me and i treated them like shit. They had to physically restrain me after i decided to drink 6ltrs of cider and eat a few packets of paracetamol but they are still here for me.

I guess im out of that bad spot now, im actually quite happy as im back a the yard, competing, training and getting on with everyone better (most of them anyway) and I'm slowly getting over my grandparents deaths.

So i am a horsey girl with a twist.

People always say that to look at me, you wouldnt think i have been through/done what ive done but never judge a book by its cover. I'm not completely mental, im a normal 20year old with a few minor 'defects'.

i guess as this blog grows you will get to know more about me.

im like marmite, you'll either love me or you'll hate me. Personally, i hate marmite.