I've just got back from work and it is flaming freezing. I'm covered in horse hair after clipping my instructors horse, i didnt realise how much hard work it is, my arms will be aching for days and i will be shedding the hair that has gotten everywhere for months.
not alot happened really. There was quite alot of bitching which i avoided getting into by hiding at the smokers log, we had to turn out a nutty foal that has just been weaned into a field which tried to kill everyone...and then it was just the usual jobs to be done: mucking out, hay, water, feeds, harrowing, sweeping...
No riding today, i really wasnt in the mood anyway and tomorrow im planning on catching up and riding quite a few. Now im home, im probably not going to move, i have a 2ltr bottle of pepsi max, my pack of cigarettes and my laptop...I doubt i will move until i can be bothered to get up and have a shower and go to bed.
Im not feeling great today, i dont know why, well i do but i dont think its a great reason to feel so blah (yes, i'm not showing off my english skills very well but my brain doesnt want to work today). I guess one reason is the fact that im still feeling really insecure with the weight gain, ive fallen back into the bad habits today and not eaten but i have a can of soup in my bag which i may heat up in a bit (again, if i can be bothered to move). I know im not going to be able to work on this until ive finally got an appointment with the ED team. I've had the assessment back in April and im on the waiting list for help but no word yet of when that will be.
My current therapist isnt very useful. She admitted to me the other day that she doesnt know how to help me. she is only part of the intake team who only see's people for a maximum of 8 sessions, after that the patients are either discharged or move on to the enhanced team. I would like to know why i have been seeing her for over two years now and nothing has been sorted? I mean, it was only the beginning of the year that i was referred to the ED team.
I do miss my CAMHS team, they were helpful. *sigh*
I'm going to sit and watch a series of Friends i think, whilst wasting my time on facebook. I should really crack on with coursework but i will probably leave it til last minute and do it the day before it has to be handed in!
About Me
- Horsey Girl
- United Kingdom
- Im an equine student with a few lil problems :) i like to think im fun but caring. i love competing, reading, writing, drawing and having long debates about psychology,ethics, politics... but i do like the odd party, trip to the pub and doing crazy things :D haha
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